# This piece is a dedication to all women who are in abusive marriages and those who have taken their lives because of abuse.
I sit on our matrimonial bed
Symbol of our marital bliss
Of romantic nights we have shared
I pick up the wedding photo on my bedside
Tears trickle down my cheeks uncontrolled like November rain
Oh Lord I can't bear the pain
As I Reminisce on that our happy day and the vows he said
The picture of our happiness is played in my mind again and again.
To love unconditionally he pledged,
Till death do us a part he declared.
I look at myself in the mirror
I look pale and wasted,emaciated by his emotional reign of terror.
Tears well up in my eyes
Am confused ,ask myself all the what and whys
What have I really done to deserve this on my life?
I'v been nothing but a loyal spouse his loving wife
But like poison he has made it his daily task to slowly and painfully end my life.
My blood shot eyes,disfurged face tell a tale of their own
Emotional scars left by this beast
Confidence lost from his barbed wire words that cut at the very deep parts of my heart
Bitter words that are corrosive and unpalatable to the ear
Words that tear the heart apart
Deep words that leave permanent scars of pain like burnt cigarette marks on a ashtray
He doesn't love me anymore bt I'll stay
I just can't abandon him,we have spent many years together
he will change I hope, I'll pray.
Is this the man I married that wishes me dead and buried.
The very man who crucifies me daily for being barren.
His words a crown of thorns.
Is this my prince charming that has turned back into a beast without warning,
Is this th man once upon a time seranaded me with sweet nothings,
His words like honey were a delicacy to my ear
Who now mercilessly butchers me
His very presence I now fear
Lucifer personified takes every moment to tell me of those painful,cancerous words that are resurrected within me every time I think of them
Is this the man my youth my beauty my most coveted virginity I sacrificed to give
Who bashes me like a tsotsi who's been caught in the very act of stealing ,
All because you my Lord have denied me the fruits of my womb
God No! I refuse to believe
I sit up straight on our matrimonial bed
Symbol of our matrimonial bliss I have already said
Suicide note on our bed
I open my bottle of rat poison and I take a swig
I lie beautifully on our bed
This life will soon end,who cares,
am tired but for to long I have bled and noone has ever cared.
Goodbye my prince charming,remember the good times we have shared.
I black out.
By Chris Chakwana ( Zimbabwe )
picture source; www.huffingtonpost.com