As I lie here paralyzed by this disease that's claiming my life.
Clasping on to the hand of the woman who for the last forty years I've called my wife.
Poker faced I look into her eyes
Tears well up as I think of all the lies.
Through each one we stood by each other
This is not the love I was told of by my mother.
Yet I met this woman when I was a boy
My childhood sweetheart who brought me such joy.
The love of my life who said I'm her one and only
Death would rob us of this bliss And leave her lonely...
When she was twenty-four I was twenty-five
That’s when we wed the bliss we shared made me know I was alive
When she was thirty-three I was thirty-four
Five children she had bore
Could any man ask for more?
Our lives revolved around our family
Our last child whose name is Emily
Has graduated from university
And now faces the prospect of life in the city
We gave them all the best money could buy
And taught them the all values and virtues to live by:
Honesty, integrity, transparency, truth and courage.
How can I look them each in the eye when I've been so dishonest
The double life I've lived as I built this love-nest
The smokescreens and facade that have filled our home
The lies and deceit are more than the plot to kill Caesar in Rome.
How can I tell them when I know this will destroy us
Maybe I should take it to my grave and not kick up a fuss
The six souls I love with all my heart
Are about to discover a truth that will tear us apart
I cannot believe I find myself in this predicament
My confession will leave such disenchantment
You see I've known all along
In this happy septet I'm the one who doesn't belong
I could have said
I should have said
I would have said
But I may have lost her if did
So I was forced to put it under a lid
How could I open Pandora’s box
And break the heart of one with such lovely locks
You see when it comes to reproduction I am like an ox
A debilitating disease in my youth left me unable produce an heir
This truth leaves a foul stench in the air
Who then is the father of these five?
Clasping on to the hand of the woman who for the last forty years I've called my wife.
Poker faced I look into her eyes
Tears well up as I think of all the lies.
Through each one we stood by each other
This is not the love I was told of by my mother.
Yet I met this woman when I was a boy
My childhood sweetheart who brought me such joy.
The love of my life who said I'm her one and only
Death would rob us of this bliss And leave her lonely...
When she was twenty-four I was twenty-five
That’s when we wed the bliss we shared made me know I was alive
When she was thirty-three I was thirty-four
Five children she had bore
Could any man ask for more?
Our lives revolved around our family
Our last child whose name is Emily
Has graduated from university
And now faces the prospect of life in the city
We gave them all the best money could buy
And taught them the all values and virtues to live by:
Honesty, integrity, transparency, truth and courage.
How can I look them each in the eye when I've been so dishonest
The double life I've lived as I built this love-nest
The smokescreens and facade that have filled our home
The lies and deceit are more than the plot to kill Caesar in Rome.
How can I tell them when I know this will destroy us
Maybe I should take it to my grave and not kick up a fuss
The six souls I love with all my heart
Are about to discover a truth that will tear us apart
I cannot believe I find myself in this predicament
My confession will leave such disenchantment
You see I've known all along
In this happy septet I'm the one who doesn't belong
I could have said
I should have said
I would have said
But I may have lost her if did
So I was forced to put it under a lid
How could I open Pandora’s box
And break the heart of one with such lovely locks
You see when it comes to reproduction I am like an ox
A debilitating disease in my youth left me unable produce an heir
This truth leaves a foul stench in the air
Who then is the father of these five?
By Mandlenkosi Nkomo ( Zimbabwe )
photo credits -www.aidsaction.net
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