i wanted.......

I wanted to write you a poem 
but i ran out of ink. 
My fingers wouldn't bend, 
my mind wouldn't think, 
i couldn't even move my hand. 

I wanted to recite you a poem 
but my tongue started stuttering, 
i started shaking, 
something inside me was moving, 
inside me i conceived a feeling that still keeps me wondering, 
wondering and questioning myself why this is so hard. 

I wanted to break the ice 
by looking through the lenses of your eyes, 
i needed to recite for your sight, 
for i had words i couldn't write 
and trying to force 'em out of me didn't feel right. 
My thoughts felt tight 
and i honestly needed you to see this sight, 
this sight of me full of fright. 

I wanted to hold you in my arms, 
or hold your hand in the middle of my palm, 
but i couldn't move and inside my mind i heard my favourite psalm, 
"The Lord is my shepherd and i shall want", 
it was contradicting the feeling i had, 
for i wanted you so bad, 
so bad that i'm writing this feeling sad. 

I wanted to be by side when i finally wrote these words, 
however you were in my mind and my spirit is by your side 
hence i broke the laws i had to abide, 
neither looked behind nor hid.

By  Nomthandazo Tsembeni  "Lola-Lady Black Poet"  ( South Africa ) 

picture credits: http://www.sodahead.com/fun/did-you-ever-use-an-ink-well/question-3556893/